


Help! the thief stole my heart!

by CollieWolf



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I Tried, M/M, South Park: The Stick of Truth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-14 16:15:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13593759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CollieWolf/pseuds/CollieWolf
Summary: A barbarian of the warriors of Zaron falls in love with the Theif, a loner who works for no-one unless you pay him well enough. Full of strange twists and turns they hope everything turns out well in the end.





	1. The night it all started

**Author's Note:**

> Hi yes!! My name is Sammy and this is my first fic ;D  
> Please tell me if I messed up, I need all the help I can get!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

"UGH COME _ON!_ " It was dark and Tweek really needed to get inside, his room was nice and warm unlike the forest that he was standing in. Tweek hated working for the humans. They always treated him like an animal. But Tweek wasn't an animal, in fact he was a 20 year old human man. Tweeks figure wasn't the most attractive, he was chubby, with a wild mane of blond hair that never stayed down, wide scared and blue eyes that were always shifting around like someone, or something, was going to attack him. His skin had been permanetly stained with war paint, leaving Tweek to the worst class he could have been, a barbarian. The king mainly did that for aesthetic purposes. He wore no shirt which he found strange and rather cruel, brown pants tucked into brown boots. A belt adorned his bare chest holding his weapons. A Mongolian bow, a short sword and his personal favorite weapon, a club made of elven oak that the humans stole from the elven territory. Tweek was quick to anger and situations like this weren't different. "DUDE JUST LET ME IN!" He yelled for what seemed like the hundreth time that night. Only hearing the hushed giggles of the men on door duty in response to his agonized cries, Tweek let out an involuntary growl as he slowly backed away from the gate.

Tweek lived in the castle of the Humans of Zaron, a large fortress surrounded by a wall with only one entrance on the west side of the castle. Inside the wall there was a long expanse of grass, a neat yard that held the Princesses favorite flowers. Tweek lived near the bottom of the tall castle, he had freaked out at the suggestion of even going up there! And, not only was he near the bottom, he was close to the throne room, the room that held the illusive _Stick of Truth_

Tweek sighed. There _was_ another way into the castle. All humans knew about it but they just never mentioned it. There was a tree positioned closer to the castle wall than any other tree. If you knew how to climb trees and you were tall enough (which Tweek was not) you could make the jump and get inside the castle boundaries. Tweek knew he'd mess up and be the laughing stock of the humans for a month but there was no other way for him to get in. One of his friends would hear him fall and come out and let him in. Grabbing hold of the lowest hanging branch Tweek almost started pulling himself up when...

_rustle_

Tweek felt cold as the rustling continued and a cloaked figure jumped from the trees. He was tall, Tweek knew this much as he had made the jump very easily. And Tweek knew he was a man becauss any of the Valkyries of Valhalla would never be seen in a cloak in _that_ shade of brown. Yet Tweek didn't recognize him. His mind jumped to the elves but he didn't jump down. He continued walking along the wall, like he was counting. Then he stopped and pulled something out of his cloak. It was hard to tell what it was in the darkness but it looked rectangular? Like a-

a sharp noise cut through Tweeks thoughts.

Pan flute.

_the Theif_

Everyone knew who he was. And everyone knew that panflute was a was he called his warcry. Yet Tweek didn't really know much about him other than that. He stole from everyone and only fought for you if you paid him. Tweek was surprised to see him there and not jumping into the castle. Tweek drew his bow just in case he tried anything but nothing happened. Until the window opened an two figures leapt out onto the yard and climbed onto the wall up until they were standing side by side with the thief. Spies?!

Tweek's brain always thought of stuff like this. Giant rats that would come to eat you in the night if you didn't completely cover yourself with your blankets or the cannibal that lived in the woods! But here these two were standing with a mercenary! The worst one at that!! Letting out a hushed groan of frustration Tweek jumped when the thief leaped off the wall, grabbing the trunk of the tree. It sounded far too close for comfort.

Tweek then did something that he would forever be grateful for. Something that, in that night, he regretted so much.

He stood up.

Almost as fast as Tweek had jumped up, there was a _whoosh_ as a knife stuck in the tree beside Tweek. Gulping he turned to face the one who threw said knife in all his terrifying glory.

The thief was a little shorter than Tweek had initially thought. He had a dark blue chullo hat that was pulled low over his head. Shimmering green eyes glared down at Tweek, the only thing held there were fire and anger. His brown tunic looked elven but every other piece of clothing looked human. The tunic was tucked into his pants like a human, it was a kind of dress code that the Grand Fat ass had made. A belt was looped around his shoulders carrying one of his serrated daggers. (The other was in the tree by Tweeks head.) Boots adorned his feet, well worn and well loved Tweek could tell. Cape billowing behind him the thief went to draw his second knife when the others jumped down from their much slower descent from the castle wall. They both seemed panicked, like killing Tweek mattered to _them._ They were spies and he had seen them! But as they started yelling at the thief that "this ones nice!" And "he's one of the good ones!" Tweek realized why they where panicking.

Before him stood Clyde Donovan and Token Black, Tweeks best friends since he was little. But... they weren't spies they couldn't be spies! Before he could stop himself Tweek burst out "holy shit you guys are sPIES?" They all looked at Tweek as he clamped a hand over his mouth in shame, yelping as his hand hit his skin.

Then Tweeks shame only got worse as they all started laughing! Tweek's face was on fire and he glared at the three men standing before him.

"Tweek we're not spies!" Clyde chocked out between giggles. His helmet was askew from his jump to the ground. Clyde wore a red tunic that had a blue cape attached to it. His curly brown locks feel in front of his hazel eyes making him reach up a hand and move it away from his face. His cheeks where flushed from his giggling and he seemed to glow in the moonlight. Clyde was a goofball yes but he could always snap Tweek out of the downward spiral that was his brain.

Once again Tweek squeaked out "THEN WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO THE THEIF?!" it was muffled slightly by Tweeks hand still held firm over his mouth.

"Tweek, we're talking to him because he's our friend!" Token replied, inhaling deeply. Token wore the silver band that signified a cleric all the time. His red cape flapped gently in the wind, his white tunic freshly pressed. The black man had always looked better than Tweek. He had known that since forever, he didn't care but sometimes he seemed really intimidating.

Tweek had run out of things to stay under the cold green eyes of the taller mysterious man. He started to sweat as the thief approached, he leaned in close and Tweek gulped, shoulders raising in alarm as the thief grabbed his knife stuck in the tree. Leaning back the thief grimaced as he saw the hole he left in the tree, pulling the pan flute of his belt he played a quick ditty and before Tweek's very eyes, the hole grew smaller, smaller, and then it was gone. Tweek gasped and stared as the thiefs lips turned up ever so slightly into a smile. It vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared and Tweek wasn't even really sure it had been there. The thief turned and started walking away motioning for Clyde and Token to follow.

"Tweek I'll go talk to the men at the gate, they'll let you i-" "no." Tweek squeaked as Clyde turned back to look at him, confused he asked "you'd rather stay out here all night?" Tweek blinked at his question "wha- no I'm coming with you!" He burst out startling all three men. "Well" Token turned to the theif "are you okay with that?" He shrugged and said "sure." His voice was deep and slightly nasally, Tweek swore he was enchanted, he was frozen in place as the theif turned around. Then "Craig." "W- what?" "My name is Craig, not thief, call me Craig." Tweek stared as Craig started moving, forcing his legs to work he followed as close as he dared to Craig. Here he could make out more details on his cape. It had a pattern on it, it was black and barley visible but it showed a figure, with... was that the stick of truth? They had 5 others with them. Tweek thought there was a lake until Craig turned, causing Tweek to look where he was going.

Where were they?

They seemed to be on a hill, surrounded by forest and nothing but it. Tweek felt the eyes on him. The eyes of his unforeseen enemy who was sent there to kill him but never did. Tweek grabbed for his club, gripping it tightly as they continued. Only half listening to Clyde's story about him heroically doing something Tweek studied his ever changing scenery. A boulder loomed ahead, daunting Tweek as they approached. There seemed to be a white, bone looking thing on the rock and as they approached, it turned out to be a whole human skeleton. Tweek screeched and only Craig paid it any mind, raising an eyebrow quizzically Tweek pointed to the skeleton.

Craig tightened his mouth into a thin line and made a soft noise, like a huh or something, but he kept walking. Not wanting to end up like that skeleton back there, Tweek followed close behind him.

A sign up ahead made Tweek sigh in relief, he'd finally be able to tell where he was. As they approached he tried to read the sign, but somehow, he failed. Almost like he was reading Tweek's mind Craig said "the Giggling Donkey." Tweek blinked. "You can't read it because it's in elvish." Tweek paused, then screeched.

Tweek was in Elven territory! He was in enemy territory and was in danger and everything was going wrong and why did he stand up? Why does he do anything? Tweek really should have been inside, he should have listened and gone inside. He shou-

His thoughts where cut short when a gloved hand landed on his head. The scent of pine filled his nose, a soft thump was made when the gloved hand hit his head. Inhaling the sweet earthy smell of his glove Tweek seemed to calm immediately. Still shaking slightly Tweek looked up into Craig's eyes and smiled. He had somehow managed to calm down as quickly as he freaked out. Craig had seemed to freeze up as soon as his hand touched Tweek's wild mane. Relaxing at the sign of Tweek's smile, he saw Craig's lips turn up in a small smile, Tweek exhaled as Craig quickly turned around, continuing on their way to the Giggling Donkey. From what Clyde was saying, Tweek knew that the place they were going, it was the place where Craig lived. It was a pub and was full of elves, humans, half elves, and orcs. A weird place to hang out, Tweek thought. He walking in silence, only looking when things caught his eye. At one point in the trip Tweek swore he saw a group of elves but before he could say anything, they disappeared.

Before he knew it, a small building loomed in the distance. it was stable in structure and had a tan color to the walls. The roof was a dark brown and soft bits of chatter found their way up to where Tweek stood. A soft yellow glow came out the windows and the welcoming scent of food wafted up with the chatter. Walking a little faster to catch up with Craig who hadn't stopped to view the pub.

As Craig opened the door, warmth spread over Tweek's wary limbs, sighing in relief he stepped inside.

The Giggling Donkey was a welcoming place, a fire burned brightly in the fireplace that sat in the middle of the left wall. All throughout the room stood wooden tables that had been decorated with small candles. The crowd could have been as diverse as Tweek could imagine. Elves mingled with humans and orcs, there was even a Valkyrie, her hair was blond and curly and she was talking to the bartender, hearing the door open she looked over and smiled as Clyde walked into the bar. "Bebe!" Clyde said, running over to her completely forgetting his story about a dragon or something like that. Turing to look to his right he almost bumped into Craig who was just, staring at him. Yelping he covered his head, not wanting to get hit. But Craig only walked toward the bar, shedding his weapons belt and cloak to place them behind the bar. A stage attached to the bar where a bard had been playing on a lute. The bard sat on a stool and Tweek quickly figured out why. His legs were bent at odd angles, his feet not touching the ground. Wooden sticks where propped up on the side of the stool and seeing Craig, he smiled. "Craaaiii- C-ccccrraai... Craaii Crai Craig!" He said with difficulty.

"Hey Jimmy" Craig had responded as he climbed onto the stage, looking at the bartender. Getting the idea the barkeep reached under the bar and pulled out a flute carved out of wood. Tweek was slightly surprised that Craig had allowed the flute to be carved from his little show of healing the tree from earlier. Grabbing it, Craig held it up to his lips, he played a tuning note and nodded to the bard, Jimmy.

As soon as they began playing together, Tweek was enchanted. Eyes focusing on Craig as he danced around the stage, eyes closed as he played out a sweet melody. Long eyelashes fluttering open to reveal those sparkling green eyes.A few strands of hair the color of the night fell out of the blue chullo hat, framing his pointed face. Craig's nose was slightly crooked, as if it had been broken. Tweek had the urge to find out who broke it and break their nose. Shaking his head slightly Tweek looked down at Craig's now fully exposed tunic. It was long and went down to his hands, it was a strange version of the tunics that Tweek was used to.The brown of the tunic was a good match with the darkness of his hat and hair.

Craig seemed to turn into a tornado, dancing around the stage with such grace Tweek could cry. Only then did Craig's eyes began to wander. Making eye contact Tweek couldn't look away. Apparently Craig could as he turned away after only a second of staring at Tweek. Even though Tweek felt a stab of disappointment at the action, it didn't stop him from applauding at the end of the song when Craig bowed and Jimmy raised his head proudly, unable to bow. Jumping of the stage Craig approached the bar, asking for a... coffee? Tweek had never heard of it. Seeing his look of confusion Craig offered Tweek some of the strange drink, twitching slightly Tweek grabbed the cup, Tweek took a sip and his eyes shot open. The taste was so familiar and yet Tweek had never had this drink before. Shoving the cup back into Craig's hands he turned to find Token studying him intensely, like he knew why the taste had made him feel so nostalgic. Tweek slapped his hand over his mouth and made a muffled screeching noise.

Craig had seemed to notice the panic in Tweek's eyes and handed the cup back to Tweek, grabbing it he chugged the contents as Craig ordered another coffee. After grabbing the now full mug Craig walked back onto the stage, followed by Clyde and Token. Slinging the lute onto his back Jimmy grabbed the sticks and began following, Craig turned and looked at Tweek, nodding his head to tell Tweek to follow him without saying a word. Jumping onto the stage with a little difficulty Tweek let out a few sounds of frustration as he finally got onto the stage. Following Craig into the back of the pub and to a wooden door.

"leads to Jimmy's and my room" Craig said as he opened the door to a set of stairs, leading down into what Tweek had thought was the basement of the pub. "gg- won't the people get bored without you or Jimmy playing a song?" Tweek let out and regretted, he usually regretted what he said. He honestly just let out the weirdest thoughts he had bouncing around in his head. Craig waved his hand, probably dismissing Tweek's question. "Now they won't." Craig had said as he led Tweek to the stairs. He pondered the meaning of Craig's statement as he walked down into the darkness.

Tweek heard Jimmy Clyde and Token talking like old friends which, Tweek thought, they probably were. About 5 steps from the bottom of the stairs Craig leaped and Tweek screamed. Running down the final stairs to join Craig at the bottom, calmly Craig walked over to a bed and sat down, Clyde was on the bed too and patted the spot next to him looking at Tweek and smiling. Tweek couldn't turn around now. He was far from home with his two friends and two complete strangers. Gulping, Tweek paused then ran and jumped into the spot next to Clyde. This was going to be a _long_ night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if I did anything wrong! Tell me if you liked it!! I'm all ears for any criticism you may have!


	2. His first mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig

How did Craig mess up this badly? He was a highly dignified thief and he had no time for things like playground crushes but as soon as he had looked at that jumpy blond he was hooked. Looking over at said blond Craig studied him for the third time that night. His dark brown pants were fully exposed now that he had taken his furred brown boots off and set them by the side of Craig's bed. A thick sturdy belt held up said pants with a golden buckle.

His small frame was filled with small amounts of muscle and a lot of fat. Craig really didn't care about it, Tweek had a lot of stamina, the first time Clyde walked from the humans castle to the Giggling Donkey he was sweating like a live pig spit roasting on an open fire, Craig smiled to himself slightly wondering if he could make that into a Candlenights carol but he put that thought out of his head as he continued staring at the man on sitting on his bed, intently listening to some dumb story that Jimmy was telling. Craig listened to these stories all the time, they were all the same, mainly about Jimmy fighting some group of people or whatever.

Tweek's torso was covered in stripes of warpaint, two small ones on his hips leading into his stomach and a larger stripe going right to left across his chest. His weapons belt was still strung over his chest, drawing Craig's attention upward toward Tweek's face. It was rounder than Craig's face and shorter too. 3 stripes of warpaint adorned his face, one over his eyes and two on either side of his chin pointing inwards. His nose was short and straight, his blond hair fell in front of his eyes, his beautiful beautiful eyes. The were the bluest eyes Craig had ever seen in his _life_. They glistened in the candlelight, staring straight at Jimmy. Only occasionally quivering. His hair seemed soft, Craig wouldn't know, the only time he had touched it he had had his gloves on but that didn't really matter to Craig. Standing up Craig walked back upstairs, no one really questioned it but he could feel Tweek's confused gaze on his back as he went.

Passing by his projected self, Craig had the power to make magical copies of himself and he used it as often as he could. The image was playing Craig's signature flute and the sound was good, Craig wished it was better but he wouldn't complain. Jumping behind the bar Craig gathered up his cape and his own weapons belt. Looking down at the small drawing on the back of his cape. Craig had gotten this cloak from a roaming oracle. The oracle had told him that the cloak was magically enchanted, when he met and saw anything that was involved with the prophecy it would appear on his cape, and today there was another person on it.

The prophecy of his cape showed Starks pond, the elven lake territory that Craig visited often, cleaning the filthy trash that everyone threw there, as a follower of Pan, the nature god, any trash in nature made him very upset. There was a small hill in front of it said pond and on that hill stood 6 figures, on the left side of the hill sat Jimmy, playing his lute to seemingly protect the center figure. Clyde and Token stood side by side behind Jimmy, Token was channeling a spell and Clyde was holding up his shield, protecting Token from well, something. Craig couldn't see what he was being protected from, he'd have to see the specific weapon or person to have it appear on the cape. He could see Kenny, the princess of the humans, sitting in front of the center figure on it's right, also channeling some sort of spell. In the center of the hill stood Craig himself, holding the Stick of Truth above his head. Craig didn't really care about that and his eyes wandered to the new figure on the drawing. Craig knew it was Tweek, he was jumping toward Craig for some reason, probably protecting him from an arrow? Craig would only know when the prophecy came to pass.

Craig sighed and jumped back onto the bar and walked back to the door that lead to Craig's room. Lumping his weapons belt and cape onto one arm and awkwardly opened the door. He ran down the stairs and took a flying leap in the general direction of his bed. Tweek screamed and Craig regretted his little stunt as he landed on his bed. He sat up and set down the things he was carrying and sat up to join the conversation.

"Craig what was your latest fight" Clyde said, turning to him Craig shrugged.

"I guess it was the last time the humans and elves fought for the Stick." He started.

The battle didn't happen long ago, probably about two weeks at best, Craig had been hired by the humans to fight against the elves for the stick that was still in the humans possession because of Craig. He started telling the story to the group, everyone was listening because Craig never told stories, a rare treat for his friends to hear Craig's masterful storytelling

_Craig stood in front of the small group of warriors that he had been assigned to. As high a ranking Craig was he felt glad to finally lead a group of men against an enemy. Turning to the small group of men he let a small, devilish grin inch onto his face. "Now men, this battle is going to be hard, some will fall, many will be injured, but we must not give up hope. The Stick belongs to the humans and even though I am not one of you I know for a fact that you are the rightful owners of the artifact. Now, who want's to protect the universe?" His group yelled. Smiling Craig turned to face the group of elves marching toward the humans. Craig stood up straighter as the elves paused, their king, Kyle, stood in front, looking at Craig's small group. More humans waited in the shadows of the tree's, waiting for the elves to make the first move. Kyle grinned and raised his staff, his archers got ready. Craig muttered "get ready to raise your shields, men" and readied his pipes._

_The archers launched, Craig played a shrill note, the fighting had begun._

_Running ahead of his men Craig pulled out his daggers. Running straight for the elven king. If he could take out Kyle then the battle would be over. Getting ready to throw, Craig stumbled back as his Kyle's number one warrior ran in front to protect his leader. Stan the elven ranger stood in front of Craig. Rolling his eyes Craig took a step back, he smiled, confusing Stan for just a second as Craig began glowing with a dark purple aura. "Why fight one Craig when you can fight five?" He said as he multiplied. It was a cheap tactic but it always seemed to work._

_Running in a circle around Stan, Craig struck out. Hitting Stan on his arm, the only unprotected place of the elf. Stan turned to look at the real Craig and glared. As soon as Stan hit him all of his shadow clones would vanish. Craig couldn't allow that. Stan removed his sword very slowly, a mistake on his part as he was suddenly swarmed with Craigs. Hacking and slashing Craig blended right in with his copies. Hitting any part of Stan that he could. Soon enough Stan would fall and Craig could move on. He looked up to see the battle raging around him. Elves mixed with humans, arrows flew, swords clashed and both humans and elves alike fell to the ground. Craig turned back to see Stan swiping at his fakes one by one until it was once again only the two. Craig groaned. "Fine, we can fight normally if you so desire." He muttered readying his blades._

_Stan charged first running right at Craig and swinging, sword and dagger collided, sending a small shower of sparks as the two metals scraped across one another. Craig rolled to his right and struck out, managing to kick Stan's arm once again. Craig looked up from his move just in time to see Stan's sword hit his arm.Yelping Craig stumbled. It wasn't a deep cut but it would take a little time to close. Grimacing Craig rushed forward. Stan put up his sword to block Craig, his stance was wide and Craig was fairly sure he could fit through it. Sliding Craig sent a quick prayer to Pan that this would work. Getting behind him was the easy part, the hard part was getting Stan down. Slashing at his arms with both daggers Craig felt them go in, the were deep and fatal wounds and Craig tore up, blood was leaking heavily from the wounds and Stan collapsed. He was a warrior who couldn't stand the sight of blood after all._

_Turning Craig saw how few of the elves were left. the "grand wizard" had finally given Craig enough forces to beat the elves easily. Kyle looked stunned and angry. He pulled out a whistle of some sort and blew. Craig thought it was a sign to retreat. It wasn't. Hobbling out of the shadows came a newcomer to the battle. All of Craig's attention was focused on him. Craig waved his hand. Enough magic to keep out Kyle and the elves and his own men. A one on one. A finale for the battle._

_Craig walked forward. The stranger walked forward. Leaving the shadows, the stranger showed his face. Craig's eyes widened. There, in front of Craig, stood his old friend. The bard._

"I'm s-still your friend, right?" "Yes Jimmy you're still my friend." "Cool."

_"C-Cra... Thief." Jimmy had nodded. "Why don't you let down these walls and leee- l-llee... have your warriors help you. You know you cannot beat me." Craig snarled. He knew he couldn't fight his friend, his_ brother _but he was payed really well to keep the stick safe from the elves. "Sorry Bard. But I can't let you get that stick." Jimmy sighed. "Then I'm sorry, old friend. Because I'm getting it."_

_Craig pulled out his pan pipes, Jimmy pulled out his lute._

"OH GOD DO EITHER OF YOU DIE?!" Tweek screamed. Craig glanced over and realized Tweek was literally on the edge of his seat. "Neither of us die, don't worry." Craig said calmly.

_Craig charged. He knew how Jimmy liked to attack. Send off patterns and hope that the other person doesn't know them. Craig could feel the magic getting faster, stronger as he rapidly approached his old friend. He played a few sharp, high notes on this pan pipe and waited as he approached._ "a gift" _Craig could hear his God's voice in the trees, the wind brought forth the smell of the wild. Craig heard it coming before anyone else did. "Okay okay, I can't fight you Jimmy, I'll admit that."_

_The rumbling got ever closer and Jimmy put down his lute, smiling, he thought he had won this battle. "G- gooOoo- goooOoOoo... Very well, Thief, nnnow let down these walls and let me retr- retree... get the Stick of Truth."_

_"Oh you don't get it. I can't fight you, but he can." Craig pointed over Jimmy's shoulder. It burst out of the trees spewing fire. The Chimera, a beast thought to be dead, appeared behind Jimmy. Jimmy screamed and Craig let down the magical walls. Craig pointed in the direction of the elves and the Chimera advanced. The goat head bleated, the lion head roared and the snake his hissed. The elves ran and the Chimera gave chase, belching fire at the screaming elves. Craig turned to face the humans. He raised his arms and the humans cheered. The stick was safe, Craig was getting paid extra for this one._

silence. No one said anything until "holy shit."

Clyde and Tweek were both staring wide-eyed at Craig, Token didn't even looked phased, Jimmy rubbed his arm where Craig assumed he was bitten by the lion head of the Chimera, Craig guessed it was the lion head because of the giant bite mark where he was rubbing. "yee- ye... that hurt a _lot_ " Jimmy glared at Craig and he snickered. "a cHIMERA!" Craig turned and looked at the wide eyed, now standing, Tweek. Craig nodded and Tweek started yelling about how cool and terrifying being able to summon a whole _Chimera_ was, he was so passionate, he had been so quiet the whole night and building up his want to yell, at least Craig thought it was like that. After a minute Craig could feel his face going red, he pulled up his elven tunic as far over his face as he could he waited for it to stop burning so much before looking out at Tweek who had stopped talking and stared at Craig as his eyes peaked out of his shirt.

"A-are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm great don't worry about it."

Craig winced, he said that _way_ too fast. Tweek sat down and looked over at Token who shrugged. Looking back over at Tweek who looked as embarrassed as Craig felt. "I-It's really late, can someone bri... lead me home or something?" Tweek mumbled into his shoulder. Standing up quickly Craig threw his cape over his shoulders. "I can." Walking over and grabbing his staff and the small roll of paper that held a very important part to his plan, his most impressive piece of work yet. Grabbing an extra cape that was extremely furry. It felt like the pelt of a manbearpig, mainly the pelt of the bear half because wearing a cape of a man or pig would be really weird. Tossing the pelt to Tweek, Craig pulled one of his daggers and shoved it into the sheath on his smaller belt. Walking up the stairs Craig only turned to see if Tweek was following. Fumbling with putting on the cape that Craig had thrown him Tweek started scrambling up the stairs after Craig.

The walked for a small bit in complete silence, a very awkward silence at that.

The only noise was the crunching of dirt underneath their boots and the soft swishing of the wind on the trees, almost on instinct Craig pulled out his pan pipes and started playing a small tune, it was a slow melody, a healing song Craig later realized. Tweek's breathing started evening out as he kept the playing up. Finally after what felt like ages, Tweek broke the silence.

"Why aren't you part of any group?" Craig knew the answer to that question immediately.

"I'm angry." Tweek opened his mouth but Craig turned, he wasn't ready to tell Tweek that. He had a reason, but he didn't trust Tweek enough to tell him that. The quiet continued until Tweek let out a small squeak "god how am I going to get inside" was pushed through clenched teeth and obviously hadn't been meant for Craig to hear, smiling Craig turned and said "I have a way to get you in."

Tweek twitched hard, obviously distressed about how Craig was going to pull it off. Craig turned around and smiled, looking into the small paper roll in his hands. Looking down into the top Craig stared at the delivery.

Tucked up in the tube was a shimmering and golden stick. A blue, red and green gem sat on the top of the intricately carved top.The top was like a ball of glass that had been twisted in a circular motion. The long stick had many intricate details that Craig had spent about a week on. Craig had a secret, a plan that he knew wouldn't fail.

Well okay he didn't _know_ he had a feeling that it would work, after all Kenny had made his plan and he knew both the humans and the elves very well.

Craig looked up ahead and just started saying stuff that came to his head, like how the pond was getting worse everyday with all the stuff that people, both humans _and_ elves had dumped their random stuff and constantly Craig had to dive into the pond to get stuff from the bottom of the pond and how the trees looked better over here on the elven side. Craig told Tweek about his satyr and nymph friends who all loved nature and were probably watching them now and going to spread gossip or something. Tweek screamed at that, Craig wasn't surprised by that one.

Soon enough Tweek and Craig reached the human border, and even sooner they reached the castle.

"Hey, asshole one and asshole two, open up the gate."

"Who the fuck are you?"

"Your worst nightmare let me in."

"The thief? Is that you?"

"You know it let me in, I need to talk with the Grand Wizard, I'm returning something that was stolen from him."

They raised the gate. Tweek was staring at Craig with a confused expression, wether it was about Craig making it seem so easy to be let in or what he was returning he would never know because he just didn't care. Walking into the castle grounds Craig tried to keep his eyes on the prize, the castle, but he looked over to the princesses garden, the best place in all of the humans castle.

The garden was full of color, even in the night Craig could see all the different types of flowers that Kenny had told him they liked, Craig had planted the whole thing and it had taken forever, at least a week, to get them all and much less in the ground. His hands ached just in memory of the labor. The moonflowers were blooming amazingly in the light of the moon, Craig could see the nature magic actually glowing off of the plant. Eyes turning back to the castle Craig ran through the plan as he studied the castle for the hundredth time.

It was a very large castle, the bricks where made of a light gray bricks that where made from the mountain stone, Craig wasn't very happy that Cartman had basically destroyed an entire mountain just to make a stupid castle. Large banners spread across the entrance, which was made of rare red oak from the elven territory, Craig started to growl which was something he could do? He never really thought about it but the look of surprise and humor that flickered on Tweek's face made him stop. The large banners where red with white letters proudly showing the Kingdom of Kupa Keep, aka the KKK, which Craig hated the name it was mainly a joke but still it was awful. Walking into the large arch of wood and walked straight toward the throne room, it would probably be empty other than Kenny and Fat man. Opening the heavy door Craig hoped that Tweek was still following as he walked into the room. As he had hoped, only Princess Kenny and the Grand Wizard where sitting on their thrones, turning toward the open door and the soft clunk-clunk of Craig's walking stick, the Grand Wizard smiled, obviously hoping he had what the Grand Wizard had "lost". Kenny winked and smiled, Craig winked back, Tweek looked between the two. So he  _had_ followed him after all.

"Feldspar, have you returned with our precious relic? I would find no other reason for you to return without it." Cartman smiled, every time he did it made Craig sick. He also despised his fake name to hide from those who where hunting him. He was an illegal being, an  _illegal being._ His parents had had an illegal love and in return he wasn't supposed to be alive. Just like almost every other at the giggling donkey, a secret haven to his kind. He sighed and looked the Grand Wizard in the eye and kneeled.

"I did retrieve it, but I had help."

"Did an elf help you or..." His eyes drifted toward Tweek whom had followed his example in kneeling. Under the Wizards gaze he froze up, not meeting his gaze.

"Tweek here helped fend off elves and created a distraction while I ran in to grab the Stick." Pulling out the wrap of paper Craig stood and walked toward the two royals. Pulling out the carefully crafted fake his breath was taken away. The golden paint was causing it to glow, it seemed even more powerful than the actual Stick of Truth. Kenny knew better and snatched the stick up from Craig. Walking toward the pedestal that the Stick is usually proudly presented and set the fake on the pillow. Turning around they let out a muffled "thank you, Feldspar." It was muffled due to the purple fabric that hid their face. When they where with friends they took it off and showed their face. Craig had no time to think of that as Kenny approached him and took his walking stick, leaning heavily, pretending to attempt to seduce him or some shit. They winked, Craig allowed the blood that had been boiling below from all his anger, frustration and a lot of other feelings rush straight to his head. He stumbled and Tweek caught him.

"He's done a lot today, he needs rest." Tweek had said, damn did he figure out their plan or did he just figure out something was up and he needed to stay. He turned and gave an grateful look to Tweek and turned back to face Kenny who had started leading him and Tweek away from the Grad Wizz.

A muffled "Tweek, honey, where's your room."

"It's um... it's clos- THERE!" Tweek yelled pointing at a worn down door, a dark brown and just by placing his hand on the old wood he could tell it was taken from a dead tree, it had died before it had been cut down and had lived a very, very long time. Sighing Craig pushed open the door, holding it open for both Tweek and Kenny. Entering Craig took in his surroundings. It was messy, at least one side of it was. The farthest side was covered with different weapons, pants, tunics and boots littered the ground along with well, litter. It was inside but the way the air smelt and just the natural feeling of Tweek's side made it feel like litter. Kenny walked over to the clean side and lay down Craig's walking stick. Tweek was confused as Kenny grabbed the top.

"How the... pardon my French Tweekers, how the fuck do you open this  _Feldspar_ ~" Kenny turned toward Craig, smirking. He made up the stupid name in the first place. Sighing Craig shuffled up to the bed, grabbing the dumb walking stick and twisting. He made the dumb thing easy to open and just barley big enough to fit another fucking stick inside a bigger stick. As he grabbed the top of the staff he tugged and it popped off. 

"Taa-daaa"

"Fuck you too, get it out."

"Fine." Craig grabbed the glowing gold thing that was held in the center of the dumb stick. Craig really hated this staff.

From the staff Craig pulled out something that made his breath leave him for the third time that night. The actual Stick of Truth.

It was impressive and a presence that demanded attention. It reeked of miss used magic. The bulb on the end was pure gold, taken from the old mountain of magic, a mountain that only appeared every thousand years that, if you could figure out how to get some of the stone, could control the universe. It was an ancient trick that only the spirits of nature knew, Craig had been alive, but only 12 when the mountain appeared. The spirits went insane, whispering the secret in Craig's ear. He made a mistake, he told Kenny's father, the first owner of the Stick and an Orc. That's why the stick was here, in Tweek's room in the hands of the rightful owner, and the reason the stick had been made.

"Well we have it. What do we do now."

"We spring the trap. Did you give the elves a fake too?"

"Not at all. I just walked in while everyone was asleep, the guards just didn't stop me I guess. Knew they'd die or some shit."

"oH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL WHY DO YOU HAVE TH-"

"WHA-"

Kenny had sprinted over to Tweek and slapped a gloved hand over his mouth. Prying Kenny's hand off of his mouth Tweek lowered his voice to a normal speaking volume.

"I have a few questions, first of all how _ww_ the  _hell_ do you two know each other?"

"Uhm, that's a very long story Tweek. I don't know if I can explain it very easily." 

"Oh don't worry I have time, I never sleep."

And that's how Craig knew he was in for a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what I did wrong! Tell me what you liked! I need all the help I can get!


	3. Feldspar and the Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is being told like someone telling a story to another, so it'll have phrases like "we go now" and stuff you have been warned

_Once upon a time, like 10 years ago, there was a little town in the middle of the forest, not human or elvish but and area owned by orcs. The kingdom of the orcs is a small kingdom, but is still owned by a king and queen and their daughter. We go now to that royal family and focus onto the princess. Her face is uncovered, letting her curly blond locks fall around her pudgy face. Princess Kenny, just a child, is enjoying a day out with her family. Her father's face is twisted in an ugly sort of way. His teeth jut upward as if wanting to escape from his rancid breath. The queen is an elegant and kind of old looking elf, a long dress falls around her ankles and she walks on the tips of her feet. She looks around, smiling at the people in her kingdom._

_Princess Kenny and her family approach the center of the village where a very large and old oak tree stands. The tree of knowledge stands tall. Princess Kenny runs toward the tree and hugs it. Whispering she asks the tree,_

_"How will we know when the magic mountain will show up?"_

_She is promptly flattened by a young boy falling out of the trunk of the tree._

_The boy seems to be about 10 or 12 years old. A large hat falls over his forest green eyes, he looks like he has no home, his skin has a slight green tint. His messy black hair slips out from under the blue hat. His shirt looks like it's made from the leaves of trees, maybe a maple tree. He stares at the princess with wide eyes._

_"You fell on me!" She yells_

_"Well you where standing under the tree I was in, of course I fell on you." He responded_

_"Why where you in a tree?"_

_"My moms put me in the tree waiting for the queen... or something."_

_"Well, I'm the princess! Maybe that's why you came out!"_

_"Maybe." He shrugs "If you're the princess then where's your mom?"_

_Kenny points to the elegant woman standing next to her husband. Both of the royals are agape with shock._

_"They saw you fall on me I think. You should probably get off me now."_

_The boy rises. His hat flops off onto the princess's chest revealing his ears._

_You can tell right away he's neither human or elf. His ears are short and stumpy like a humans but have pointed tips. He snatches the hat up and scrunches it on his head and helps the princess to her feet._

_"I'm Princess Kenny, what's your name?"_

_"I'm Craig."_

_"Cool! Do you wanna go talk to my mom now?"_

_"Yeah, sure."_

_The princess grabs the young boys hand. Squirming at the warm touch of the young princesses hand, he tries to pull away but it dragged along as the princess all but drags the boy to the queen._

_"Mommy Mommy! This boy fell out of the Tree of Knowledge! He wants to talk to you!"_

_Craig awkwardly bows and shakes Kenny's hand off of his._

_"Y-your majesty" he stutters as if trying to remember words that he practiced for this very moment, he probably had a whole speech to say but he shakes his head and says simply._

_"The mountain of magic is here."_

_As if on cue, all the villagers turn toward the king and queen. The king narrows his eyes at the boy. Craig shuffles his feet as if all the attention is burning into his skin._

_"I have a few questions for you, boy." The kings rancid breath causes him to shutter, then he looks into the eyes of the king and begins to talk_

_"uh.. I-"_

_The king grabs Craig by the arm and lifts him up to his eye level and snarls. Craig yelps in pain and starts to squirm._

_"How can we trust you, boy?"_

_"M-My moms told me!! They told me not to say who they where! I-I can't tell you!"_

_" **Who are your mothers, boy.** "_

_"T-the wood nymphs!" Craig squeaks out as he looks up, blood, not the red of humans, the blue of elves or yellow of orcs but purple, a combination of human and elf, starts to drip from his arm where the king's claws dig into his skin. The fear is evident in his eyes as he squirms more._

_"Stop it dad you're hurting him!"_

_The king lessens his grip and growls once more._

_"We shall take him back to the castle. Only a child of the Nymphs can know the secret to owning the universe. Come, Kenny."_

_He turns away and, dragging Craig behind him, walks to the castle._

_At the castle Craig huddled in the corner of a very small cage like room. He is whispering in a hushed voice to a small patch of grass growing in the corner._

_"I'm sorry, I told them but they where hurting me, look! The king, at least I think it was the king, was scratching my arm and I started bleeding! They didn't get anything to stop the blood, mommy what do I do?" He shutters in defeat as the old metal door slowly creaks open, Craig puts on his best straight face, trying to clear the fear off of his face and out of his eyes. He can hear the grass whispering._

_"hold on child," it says "we are coming, tell nothing, show nothing, these are bad people, remember, your mothers love you."_

_"Hi Craig" the soft voice of the Princess mutters._

_"Hey." He responds in a flat, emotionless voice as he looks into the eyes of the Princess._

_"I got you food." She says, holding up a plate loaded with food._

_"Cool." He stands reaching for it, Kenny pulls the plate away._

_"My dad says you can't eat until you tell him how to get stuff from the mountain." She says, her soft eyes hold an urgent look. She wants to help him but if she goes against her father she might be punished. "Please," she whispers, "I don't want my daddy to hurt you again.."_

_"I can't tell you." He says, loudly. "One of my moms says it could kill the Earth."_

_Kenny stares in awe, she is young and yet knows the truth, she nods and, even though her father said not to feed him, hands Craig a small loaf of bread. He looks up at Kenny then down at the bread. He breaks off a small part with his teeth, eating slowly he looks up at Kenny again, and through a mouthful of bread, mutters a quick thanks. He returns to the corner, brushing his knuckles against the small blades of grass, they respond to his touch, wrapping around his fingers and softly squeezing. His mothers are coming, soon he'll be free._

_Kenny closes the heaving door, grunting in slight effort, setting the plate right outside the door. She shuffles her feet as she walks, slowly, back to her fathers room._

_"Well?" He grunts angrily. The queen looks at her husband than to her child._

_"He didn't say anything dad." She mumbles._

_He sniffs in disgust, then mutters something to his wife who nods sadly, she turns to her child and, as tear begin to fall down her beautiful cheeks, says "Your father says that if he doesn't tell us, he will torture the information out of him._

_Princess Kenny gasps, raising her voice she says "no! No you can't do that!!" The king stares at his daughter, for he loves her but still, the chance to control the universe, just from a small chunk of rock, was far too tempting._

_"Yes we can, Kenny, and we will if we have too."_

_The princess was in shock, it wasn't right! Craig was almost the same age as her! Instead of arguing with her father, she turned and ran out of the room. The halls became a familiar blur as she ran down stairs and quickly sprinted down halls, bounding down for the cell that Craig was in._

_Pushing with all her strength, she opened the door._

_"Craig! Craig you need to leave!! My dad's going to hurt you if you don-"_

_She stopped when she fully took in the room. The walls had somehow grown vines, grass stuck up from holes in the floor, flowers like she had never seen before bloomed on the vines, a sweet perfume puffing out from them. The strangest thing was Craig, in Kenny's opinion._

_He sat in the middle of the floor, the plants seemed thickest in the center of the room, originating from where Craig was sitting, legs crossed, eyes closed._

_"Craig?" she blurted out "Are you okay?"_

_"My moms are coming."_

_"Your moms? Are they gonna come from here?"_

_"Maybe. My moms like surprising people." He shrugged, eyes still closed._

_"Well what are you doing?" She said, going over to the walls and looking closer at the flowers._

_They where enchanting, that's how Kenny would remember them. A white with a blue tint and splotches of different shades of blue where what the four petals of the plant took on. A soft, golden glow emitted from the middle of the plant, as she reached out to touch the plant, it glowed even brighter._

_"Don't."_

_Kenny turned and looked at Craig, but the voice hadn't sounded like him at all. And before Kenny's very eyes, a tall woman with green skin and brown hair appeared before her._

_"The Moonflower if very dangerous to non-magic users." She said._

_Kenny looked at Craig who had stood up._

_"Are you Craigs mommy?" She had asked, an earnest question._

_"Why, yes princess I am." She said._

_Craig walked over to the woman and clung to her hand._

_"Honey, I have a very important job to ask of you." She said, squeezing his much smaller hand in hers._

_"But I messed up the last one!" He squeaked out._

_"No you didn't honey," she said calmly._

_"I need you to tell the King how to get material from the mountain."_

_Craig stared in shock at his mother. Kenny looked back and forth from mother to son._

_"Are you sure?" He said, looking at Kenny then back to his mother._

_"I am very sure, dear."_

_Craig inhales, then turned to Kenny. "Get me a pickaxe. I'll enchant it so you can mine from the mountain." He said, quickly looking at his feet. His mother nodded at Kenny, and as she ran out of the room, Craig stared at her back._

_Craig and his mother stood in silence, and when Kenny returned, holding a worn pickax in her pudgy hands, she looked up at the Dryad and, taking a shaky breath, asked exactly what Craig had been thinking. "Why?"_

_She had chuckled at the question, as if the answer was obvious._

_"Small princess, you two and 4 others are destined to be great, when Craig here enchants this pickaxe, your destiny will begin. When you are older, much older, this mountain will return, and you are the only ones who will know how to stop it from destroying everything. The choice to let you tell our secret was obvious as soon as the star of love, heartbreak, and friendship aligned. I know you and my son will succeed in saving your world. And Craig, remember, your mothers love you."_

_And just like she had appeared, the woman disappeared. Craig stared at the place his mother had been, and, turning to Kenny he said. "After I do this, you gotta call me a different name around you dad, don't tell anyone my real name." He said._

_"Why?" She had asked._

_"My moms told me to never tell adults my name, so you can't either."_

_"Kay."_

_Nodding in their agreement, Craig inhaled and suddenly, the room began to glow with a beautiful golden glow. The pickaxe glowed and started absorbing the magic that was sparking in the air. Staring in awe at the pick, Kenny reached forward, a bolt of magic struck her hand, she could feel it entering her blood stream, and suddenly, just like the tool, magic began entering her system, it had hurt, she could hear Craig calling her name, but it was distant, static filled her vision as she collapsed._

_She woke up on her bed with her father and mother standing over her. She held the magic pickaxe in her arms._

_"Sweetheart!" Her mother had cried as Kenny opened her eyes._

_"Where's.. Where's..." Kenny remembered her promise to Craig and made up a name, looking at the pick she thought of the many names of tools such as these and settled on one that seemed to fit the boy._

_"Where's Feldspar?"_

_"Who's Feldspar? Was it the young Nymph boy?" Her father grunted worriedly._

_"Yeah, him." She sat up, gently putting the heavy tool into her lap._

_"He escaped, he never told us how to get material from the mountain either." He growled._

_"He gave me a magic pickaxe that'll let us mine from it, though." Kenny muttered. Her fathers eyes widened._

_"Then let us go to the mountain!" He cried, picking up the heavy tool from his daughters lap._

_That had been the biggest mistake the orc king could have made, from the mountain he had pulled enough material to make a rod, golden in color and had began bragging that he could control the universe by using a stick, and from the tree in the middle of town where he had first met the young boy, Feldspar, who had given him the tool that let you mine from the mountain, he named the stick, the Stick of Truth._

_The elven King and the human King had been enraged. The both had attacked the orc village, combining their different powers, to destroy the orcs and steal the Stick of Truth._

_When the warriors of Zaron, that's what they had called themselves back then, had reached the throne room, they had found the kings best warriors and they king. While the warriors had fought outside, the old queen and the young princess escaped into the deep forest, relying on the queens old knowledge of the trees._

_They soon got lost, though. Kenny began crying, the queen sat down, slumping against a tree and sent a swift prayer to the god, Pan, the god of nature, to send help._

_It took about a day for Craig to find them. The queen had grown weak during the night, the small amount of food that she carried had gone to her child, luckily Craig had brought food for them. Craig led them to a well worn trail, one in the elven forest that led to a small pub. Craig had never had alcohol yet but he sometimes worked there to buy food from local cities. When they sat down and paid for meals Craig gave them the news, the Stick was stolen and the village was burned down. The King had tried to stop them before the room where they held the stick but had been stabbed._

_The queen wept, the princess had no idea how to feel._

_Later, when the stick had resurfaced, the old queen had gone to reclaim her relic, only to be killed by her own people. The Dryads had help raise Kenny, telling the newest King of the humans, who no girl had wanted to marry, about a girl he could claim as a daughter. She was a magic user and very powerful. The king had been overjoyed, adopting her immediately, Kenny had told the king about a powerful mercenary, a thief who could steal anything._

_Once a week, Craig and Kenny got together, talking about Craig's mothers warning, about how Kenny had to hide their face and how, very lonely they both were._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me if you liked it! Tell me what I did wrong! I live for feedback!


	4. a confused freak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> huh? what? questions will be asked in the follow up to Craig and Kenny's special story time.

"Okay, okay  _what?_ " 

"Yeah, Kenny is the heir of the Stick and I want to destroy the Stick but also Kenny wants the Stick destroyed and we need to find more people who want to destroy the Stick."

"That um... that clears up nothing and I still don't understand like, anything you guys just explained." Tweek muttered, removing the heavy pelt that Craig had given him off of his shoulders. Shuddering as the cold suddenly breached his bare shoulders. Looking up at the two taller beings standing in the room, he took in the fact that he really didn't know either of them. One was a half-orc and the other was, or something like that? And the other, the tallest and strangest human(??) Tweek had ever met. Raised by Dryads, the beginner of the longest war in the history of his people, and his (or as Tweek hoped) friend.

"So. Let me try again. Kenny is really a princess from another race."

"Got that bit."

"I, Craig, hi, want to destroy a magical stick that I brought into being because of a prophecy and also my mom told me too."

"Yep, got it."

"Kenny, even though they're the rightful owner of the magical stick, wants it destroyed."

"Don't really get that part."

A muffled sigh echoed from the clothed mouth of the princess.

"Because apparently it will destroy our universe if it itself is not destroyed. Then I can't really enjoy anything because there will be nothing there. I also look forward to seeing the looks on peoples faces when we save the world. Y'know, Princessey stuff."

" _Oooooooooooooh_ okay I guess I get it now."

Craig and Kenny exchanged glances, Craig inhaled as the Princesses eyes narrowed and with a soft groan, Craig turned to face Tweek.

"You gotta promise not to tell  _anyone_. I mean, Clyde, Token and Jimmy are okay because they already know. Anyone else" Craig shook his head.

"Not even Kevin?"

" _Especially not Kevin_." Said the taller human as he leaned in and grabbed Tweek's shoulders. After a brief pause of cold silence a soft chuckle escaped Craig and Tweek shook his head smiling before he continued.

"I mean.. Sure? I really have nothing to loose here, no one but Clyde and Token actually talk to me." He shrugged.

Kenny stepped forward at the words and, due to their crinkled eyes, Tweek assumed that they had just smiled at him.

"Well Tweekers, your first job is to keep the stick hidden. Token and Clyde might come to take it but you must refuse. Well, I mean, you don't have too but it's easier if you keep it, getting a hold on to all these loose ends is a lot of work,  _especially_ for a Princess such as myself." Fluttering their eyelashes, Tweek could feel the small traces of magic the two older beings in the room had talked about trying to take root into his brain, he shook his head slightly at a weird groggy feeling. Breathing in and out, and without that feeling clogging his system, he nodded and said "alright."

Nodding their head as if Tweek had just passed some sort of test (which wasn't out of the question, tests where _never_ fd; out of the question) Kenny sauntered out of the room, grabbing onto Craigs cloak Kenny started dragging the taller man out the door. Somehow managing to shake off the Princesses iron grip, Craig turned before leaving the room.

He looked at the floor, then up at Tweek, then he opened his mouth then closed it.

Tweek waited.

"..."

"You do know  _why_ I don't want Kevin to know, right?"

"wh-"

"C-Cause like, like Kevin is a _huge dork_ and I don't want anyone like that on my 'Saving the World Crew' thing."

"uh-"

"Luckily you're uh, you're just badass and cool so you're good enough to have on my team alrightgoodnightseeyalater." Like a bird, Craig flitted out the door and down the hall. Staring at the empty space where the thief had been, Tweek could only gape.

"Goodnight, Craig..."

"Whoya talking to?"

Tweek couldn't lie, he screamed as a short pudgy face entered his field of vision.

"Oh! Butters! Hi!" Tweek panted out. Sitting back slightly to get his roommate into a full scanning view.

Leopold Stoch, or Butters as almost all the humans called him, is a short man, standing at about 5'0 tall and is one of the softest looking people you will ever meet. His nickname is like a joke about how he likes eating things but he still maintains a healthy body. After all no one could beat the King in an eating contest. Butters hair is a sandy blond, not as dark as the princesses or as pure yellow as Tweek's own mop, but a soft happy color. His eyes where both once a dark brown but one, cut in a major when when he had been younger by the princess throwing a knife or something when they where playing, was a pale blue with no pupil. He was in his night clothes, a large baggy shirt with soft brown pants and no shoes just like Butters liked it.

Just good old Butters, one who had no idea the person he so  _obviously crushed on_ was one of the only remaining orcs alive, not to mention the fact that they where the technical ruler of them all.

He didn't know about Craigs Saving the World Crew thing.

He was just... Butters.

"Hi! Sorry I came in a little late, the door was closed and I didn't want to disturb you so I went down to talk to some of the servants! You won't believe all of the stuff I heard!"

"yeah, you wouldn't get some of the stuff I've heard today either!" Tweek all but screeched out before slapping a hand over his mouth and smiling weakly. At this point Butters had grown to not question his little outbursts like that, after all that was the whole reason Butters had been assigned this room in the first place. A soft light entered his eyes.

"I heard that the Princess is looking for someone to court! I mean, what if it's me?" He sighed, the dreamy look in his eyes intensifying just a little bit. Every time the news got around that the princess was looking for someone to court, it usually always is fake but Butters believes it every time. Tweek at one point had figured out never to believe the news that went around the castle, it was almost always fake and the rare occasions it was real it was something about how the King had had a heart-attack or something. 

"Yeah! If the princess has to choose anyone I'm sure it would be you!" Tweek cried happily, Tweek had learned it was easier to agree with Butters than to crush his hopes and dreams. Butters walked over to his side of the room, ignoring the heavy pelt that was lying on the ground. Muttering under his breath, Tweek hurriedly scooped down to pick up the warm fabric. Bringing it up to his face he took a deep breath and was hit immediately with the scent of Craig. Whimpering slightly at the scent, he fell back onto the bed, letting the soft fabric fall through his fingers.

"How do you do it, Butters?"

"Huh?"

"Have a normal life?" Tweek muttered, looking up at the ceiling. Butters looked down at the figure of his roommate. Buried under the fur of the unknown beast Tweek could feel his confusion.

"Well Tweek it's kinda easy! You just stay out of trouble, cause I never really get sent on missions like you do, I get to stay home, sometimes the Princess will talk to me but other than that my 'normal' life is actually really boring! Y'know I wish I could go out all the time, the King really likes you, he thinks your one of his best warriors! After all your the only real barbarian in our army!"

Tweek let out a soft chuckle, Butters was really sweet but he was blind. The King thought he was worthless, a pawn in a giant game of chess. It only slightly mattered if he was lost, after all he would never make it to the end of the board to become a queen. Not really though Tweek didn't want to be a queen he'd rather have the war be over but he'd take whatever he could get.

Tweek snuggled more into the warmth of the pelt, the scent of the thief that had entered his life that day. Feeling the exhaustion of that day catch up to him, Tweek's eyes began to droop and he prepared himself for a night of dreams.

~~~~

_"Tweek, you don't understand." the cold voice called._

_"Yes I do!" He called back, punching the small cell that he had been trapped in. All the anger of the past week, the pain, the hurt welled up in Tweek's throat, he chocked back a soft sob, growling at the figure that appeared suddenly before him. Tweek shook as he realized just who the figure was._

_"You'll die if you go out there!" the anguished voice of Craig, the thief who had managed to steal Tweeks heart in just a year, cried out._

_"I DON"T CARE, CRAIG!" Tweek had yelled back in response. He was frustrated, he knew the fate of the world and if he didn't get out there soon, he would have to watch Craig, his beloved, die._

_~~~~_

As quick as it had lasted, the dream was gone. Tweek's eyes slowly fluttered open to see the soft glow of daylight peeking in through his curtains. Eyes straining against the sudden light, Tweek thought about the small dream. It had meant nothing, it was just a dream after all, but as his eyes adjusted in the morning light, noticing the absence of Butters and the note lying on the bottom of his bed, the dream stayed fresh in his mind, replaying over and over.

Tweek quickly snatched for the small roll of parchment that lie his bed and almost ripped it in his haste to unravel it.

_Hey Tweek, you can go and talk to Clyde and Token and talk to them, can't stop you from doing that. -Feldspar_

Tweek sighed as he stood, reaching down to the floor for a cleanish pair of pants and a green tunic. Struggling to pull the shirt over his head, he sighed as he realized you had to unbutton it to actually put it on. Finally managing to almost get all the right buttons into the right holes, Tweek stood, stretched, and walked out the door.

As he began to wander the lengthy halls he noticed how much friendlier they seemed during the day. Instead of dark brooding dungeon halls, lit by torches and the ghosts that wandered them at night, joyful sunshine peeked in through the closed curtains, and for once in his whole life of living in that damn castle, Tweek finally felt safe. After a short time of meandering, Tweek began to notice a soft tapping noise. After a few more minutes of walking, the tapping became more impatient until finally, a loud tweet filled the hall. Startled, Tweek ran over to the window, quickly yanking open the curtains he was met by the sight of a small blue bird with a small roll of parchment tied to it's leg.

Opening the window was slightly difficult, but Tweek managed to pry it away from the stone wall, letting the bird flutter in. It tweeted impatiently as it stuck it's leg out.

Untying the small roll of paper he reached into his pockets, searching for a bronze piece he hoped to give to the bird, as his fished around in his pockets, however, the bird flew out the window again, leaving Tweek alone once more.

Opening the parchment piece he was the messy scribbling he had seen just a minute ago in his room. Craig had sent a bird to Tweek with a message:

_TWEEK! Hello, this ~~burd~~ bird is Twitter and she's amazing, she's fast and lets me tie stuff to her leg, she recently let me tie bigger paper, going from 140 characters to 280! (not the best to be honest) you can call her by using the whistle attached to this message. ~Feldspar_

The bit about how many characters you could write seemed a little unnecessary, after all, to Tweek, at least, it really didn't matter.

 Tweek untied the whistle, smiling as he held it. Struggling to close the window he sighed heavily. He'd just met this guy the night before and already, he was giving Tweek stuff! Amazing, he thought, how someone would willingly give him stuff. Running back to his room, he pushed open the window, grabbed a small roll of parchment and scribbled a small message.

_Hi Feldspar! Glad to have a way to message you consistently! -Tweek_

Blowing a sharp note on the whistle he waited for a moment, listening for the flapping of tiny wings. After the blue bird had flown up, he tied the roll to it's leg and watched as it flew away again. Sighing he went out to the hall to wander with again, looking for the small plates that where labeled Clyde and Token. 

After finally finding the hall where, at the end of said hall, where the rooms where his two best friends resided, one knock on each door and that's all he needed to do to talk to people he knew about the whole thing. As soon as those doors opened, Tweek didn't know it quite yet, his destiny would be finally be set in motion.

Tweek would finally get to know who he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you like! Tell me what you didn't, feedback is what I live for!!  
> Also apologizes for the short chapter, writers block has me stuck, I'll try to get a longer chapter out next time!


	5. Whoops

_Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shiiit_

Craig's mind raced almost as fast as his feet, running with the speed of a horse he dodged arrows and axes as they where thrown and shot very, very close to his head. He had been hired to go and spy on the elven king but other things had been on his mind when he had snuck into the wooded castle. Things like the stick hiding with someone he just met, the princess and how they could change their mind and kill him at any second. Tweek. He had gotten distracted and a guard spotted him lurking in the shadows with his thief face on. (A brooding smolder look with his hat drawn way down over his forehead almost covering his eyes, he needed to work on that.)

So now Craig was being chased through the forest while he was drastically trying to think of lies he could feed to Cartman about his mission. He saw a hand reach from a tree, one of his moms trees. Quickly reaching out he snatched it and felt himself being pulled in, his body phasing through the trunk and into the home of the dryads.

"Hello honey! Nice of you to run in!"

Laura. Craig's favorite mom. An old elf who had been turned into a dryad after an accident killed her lover, Thomas.

Running to her open arms he embraced his mother and stretched.

"Been forever since one of you pulled me in here like that, how are you mom?"

"I'm fine sweetheart, I'm just wondering why the elves are shooting at you like that. Are you still doing that thief thing Craigory?"

Craig chuckled, smiling softly at the name his mothers had always used when he was in trouble. He looked up and inhaled, joyful at his short but eh, 'sweet' reunion with his mother.

"It's one of the only ways I can fulfill my destiny mom." He laughed at the offended look on his mothers face. "I know you hate it, the fact that I'm a thief but it helps me find the people who I need to find so we can get the stick back to that mountain." He smiled.

"Look I gotta go, it was real nice talking to you again mom and I'll try to visit soon but I have a mission I need to complete." Giving a quick wave to his mom he ducked out of the tree.

Craig stumbled as he exited, after all, once he left the forest to live in the Giggling Donkey he stopping moving in and out of trees as often. Without the constant practice he had grown clumsy.

Stretching once again he looked around, his mom had put him rather close to the humans castle. Since he was on the human side of the border he began a slow meander to the castle.

"Okay, so I didn't actually get any info, gotta make up a bullshit story and fast." He murmured aloud, his gloved hand rested on his chin as he pondered.

"I think I heard something about the pond, and uh..."

Once again a long paused filled the air as he stopped to think more.

"The border around the... lake being taken? I mean it's the best thing I can come up with really." He mumbled. Craig began picking up his pace to a slow jog then to a slow run as he approached.

_Hope someone I know is in there._ He thought as he ran up to the front gates. Dashing through the halls toward the tall, wooden doors that led to the hall of kings Craig passed the multiple doorways leading to the sleeping quarters of the nights of the realm. As he passed one of the gates he slowed only for a second, that was the hall that lead down to Clyde and Tokens rooms, tempting. _V_ _ery_  tempting. But Craig had a job to do and he would probably kill someone if he didn't get paid for not getting there on time.

Pressing his weight onto the heavy wooden door of the Kings hall he stumbled upon entry as they gave way.

"Howdy howdy." Said Craig, bowing for a brief moment before straightening again and brushing himself off and sauntering forward.

"Well, Feldspar glad you finally decided to show up." Called out Eric. The king looked awful today, his hair was messy, his royal cape was crooked and his shirt was untucked. Craig looked him over very obviously to make the king aware of his looks.

He didn't notice Craig's obvious distaste and continued.

"Well, what did you happen upon?"

"The elves unknowingly disclosed the information that they plan on acquiring the land around Starks pond, the land on the humans side of the lake to be exact."

"Anything else?" Said the king.

"Nah that's all I heard before some dumb ass saw me. They might change their plans but I would still position people around the pond, just in case." Craig said bowing low once more.

"Alright, thank you Feldspar, Magnus bring him his money." A man walked forward with a bag, clinking with what Craig could only assume where gold coins. He snatched up the small satchel and walked out into the hall again. Walking and turning to the hall he had paused at earlier.

Almost running down the hall, attaching the small bag to his belt as he did so. Sliding to a halt at the end of a hallway he knocked quickly on one of the end doors. No response. Turning to the other door he banged with his fist. In a total of 6 seconds it was flung open to the smiling face of Clyde Donovan and the slightly disgruntled look of Token Black.

"Cr- Feldspar!!" Clyde all but yelled. Grabbing his wrist and pulling him into the room Clyde slammed the door and basically tackle leaped onto the taller man.

”Gh- Clyde get off me!” Craig nudged the leach named Clyde off of himself and turned and slapped Tokens hand in a friendly manner, smiling at his friends. 

“I see you got cut, they found you out?” Token chuckled “unusual.”

Craig groaned loudly, shoving Clyde, who had attached himself to his friend once again, and sighed. “Yeah, I was distracted.”

”How so?” Token replied.

”I don’t... I was thinking about our plan and stuff.”

”And?” Clyde pressed.

”And... and well Tweek.”

Clyde and Token looked at each other, then Craig. Then they burst out laughing.

”Aww little Craigory has a crush!” Clyde mocked. Craig hit him softly on the back of his head. Clyde collapsed and started groaning loudly.

”Tokeeen, Craig hit me I think I have a concussion!”

Craig and Token shook their heads. Craig leaned down and scooped up the fake fainted lad and dumped him on the bed.

”Oh right! I saw my mom today!”

Clyde sat up, leaning against the wall he looked at Craig and asked, “Which one?”

”Laura.”

Token nodded. "I'm glad you where able to see her! It's been a while hasn't it?" He asked. Craig nodded and continued. "I didn't stay long, I wanted my money, I was going to stab someone if I didn't get paid." He murmured as Clyde and Token laughed at his, hopefully fake, statement.

A knock on the door. Craig ducked behind the bed and Clyde made sure he was fully hidden before he opened it.

"Hi Clyde!" A squeaky voice that was music to Craig's ears. Craig popped up after he heard the door click shut and Tweek yelped.

"Craig?!" He whisper yelled.

"Howdy."

"Why where you hiding?"

"You don't know?" Craig asked, Tweek shook his head no. "Okay then, I guess I'll explain. You see because I'm a mercenary people tend to not trust me once my job is done. I just got paid by grandmaster fat man so now I'm technically a villain to your ruler." Tweek nodded.

"So if you got caught you could be arrested?" He added, shaking slightly at the thought.

"Worse, I could be killed."

Tweek went even paler than usual, a hard feat to accomplish. Craig walked over and patted his shoulder. "That's why I was hiding, couldn't come out until the door was shut so people don't think these jerks are spies for the elves. Though I don't think they would persecute them, they're too dense to even do their normal jobs let alone sneak information in and out of the castle."

"Hey!" Clyde cried out. "I'm a great warrior you... you! You spy thief man!" Everyone but Clyde laughed.

"See? He can hardly zing me!" Craig chuckled.

Craig looked over at Tweek as he laughed. It was cute. Too cute if he was telling the truth. The way his eyes squeezed shut, his goofy smile that lifted up more to one side and the other seemed to stay down, his crooked yet white teeth, his eyebrows pushed close together and wrinkles appeared on his forehead, his nose crinkled up towards his eyes and Craig though of how he wanted to hug him. Strange for Craig, after all he hated physical affection from anyone but Clyde Token and Jimmy. He'd slapped the princesses hand when they had tried to touch his face.

Tweek's laughter died down and seemed to notice Craig was staring, his face flushed and he looked the other way.

They all jumped when another knock sounded throughout the room. Craig rolled off the bed, covering himself in blankets and Clyde made sure, once again, that he was fully hidden before he opened his dark brown door.

"I know fuckers in there, I need to talk to him."

Craig looked up at the sound of princess Kenny. Standing up he walked toward, not even bothering with a bow like the other three had. Kenny grabbed his hand and yanked him out of the room and into the corridor, slamming the door behind them.

"What are you doing?" They hissed at Craig who was still shocked from the sudden pull.

"What? Wait, what? What are you talking about?" He stammered out, yanking his hand out of the reach of the ferocious princess.

"You're supposed to be keeping fat man  _away from the lake._ " Kenny's voice lowered when he talked negatively about the king so only Craig could hear.

"I know that." Craig hissed back.

"Then why did you tell him to go to the fucking lake?!"

"Oooh, right."  he said. "Whoops?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if you liked it! Tell me if I did anything wrong! I live to hear your feedback! Also I'm so sorry for the long wait! I forgot that this was a thing if I'm being honest.


	6. How could I be so blind?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek

Tweek shivered. The princess had seemed so angry, after they had pulled the taller man out of the room Clyde had stuck his ear to the door and attempted to hear the conversation.

"Gh- God! Why would the princess pull Craig out like that? What did he do? Oh man what if he killed the king or something and Kenny found out and wants to kill him! What if they kick him out of the castle and bans him from coming back!! OH GOD IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!" He screamed out. Token came over and sat on the bed, placing a comforting hand on Tweek as he tried his hardest to turn into a ball.

"Tweek, don't worry. If the king was killed then we would have heard from it. And anyway, Kenny can't really ban Craig from coming into the castle, after all if their dad invites him in the ban would be nullified. And Craig would never let that happen in the first place. He's way too stubborn for that." Tweek sighed, Token always knew what to say to calm him down. Only after his short outburst did Tweek notice the confused look on Clyde's face.

"What is it Clyde? Do you hear anything?" Tweek whispered.

"I think Craig just said whoops." Clyde muttered. Standing back from the door he walked a few feet away before the door opened again. Craig was alone again.

"I hate them so much." Craig said as he walked into the room, shutting the door behind him. "Like you have no idea how much I hate them."

"Kenny?' Tweek squeaked out.

"Yeah Kenny." Craig confirmed. He walked back to the bed and plopped down next to Tweek once again, sighing.

Craig stayed for about 2 more hours before he decided he had to leave. The three boys wished him luck on getting home. Waving, Tweek watched as Craig, literally, disappeared into the trees. Tweek turned around with a confused look.

"I'll explain later." Token said. Tweek nodded and walked off in the direction of his room. The halls seemed normal for once, like halls and not the terrifying areas between him and other people who liked him. He stopped every once and a while to stare out of the windows into the dense forest, almost staring for the cloaked figure of Craig. He had felt the connection with him from the beginning. Like Craig was someone he was destined to meet. Tweek remembered Craig talking about his cloak, how it was enchanted. He thought he remembered the thief saying something about Tweek being on there too, but he wasn't sure if was just his imagination.

Right before he reached his room, he saw the princess walking. Shivering before he said anything, he stuttered out a high pitched "Hello, princess!'

Turning, the blonde smiled at the sight of Tweek. Tweek never had the princess smile at him before.

He decided he liked it.

"Hello, Tweekers!" Kenny said, walking up and placing a gentle, gloved hand on his head.

Just like Craig had, but it wasn't the same.

"How are you doing?" The sing songy voice of the princess was almost the complete opposite of the voice they had used asking for Craig.

"I-I'm doing good! I actually feel like I'm fine for once!" He joked.

"Well I'm glad!" The smile on their face had widened at his words, like they actually cared for Tweek.

He decided that he really, really liked this.

"I- I uh... I have to get back to my room but it was really nice talking to you!" Tweek rushed out before he rushed off.

Kenny shook their head and a soft smile appeared. "Just like butterball."

Tweek threw open the door and slammed it behind him, scaring the other blonde in the room. Butters sat on his bed, carving a small piece of wood with a small knife.

"Hey Butters!" Tweek all but yelled before leaping onto his bed and sticking his face into a pillow.

"Well, heya Tweek! How has your day been?" Butters said, going back to the small carving he was making. "Cause ah, well, I haven't seen you all day!" He looked up at Tweek with a smile on his face.

Tweek smiled back, after all, Butters always calmed him down, his quiet personality made him almost the complete opposite of Tweek. Although they had almost the exact same face (Tweek's face was sharper) Butters contrasted him in a way that let him breathe.

"It was good!" Tweek started. "I haven't had to leave the castle all day! Neither did Clyde or Token so I had the opportunity to just talk with them without doing anything stressful!" He smiled. "Oh! And I saw the princess, twice!"

Butters smile widened, his eyes brightened, and it was obvious he was thinking more about the princess. Everyone and their mother knew that Butters loved the princess. Well maybe not loved but he really liked them. Tweek giggled, the tiny noise snapped Butters out of daze and caused him to look up at Tweek confused. He made a small noise that Tweek had come to know as him asking you what you where doing, Tweek just smiled.

"What are you working on, there?" He asked, motioning to the chunk of wood Butters held, it looked like it was a long project, and he was near the end of it. Butters flushed and held it up a little higher for Tweek to see. It looked like a silhouette of two people, one was in a long flowey dress adorned with what Tweek could only presume were jewels and flowers. The other figure was holding the first ones hand. It was wearing a cape and was holding a flower. That one wasn't finished, and Tweek could tell that was the one that Butters had been working on. 

"I love it dude! It's so cute!" Tweek squeaked. The smile on Butters face widened ever more and he lowered the carving.

"Thank you! I'm uh... I'm gonna give it to the princess when I'm done with it." He stuttered out. Tweek smiled.

"I think they'll love it!" Tweek smiled. Butters looked down at the statuette in his hands and began carving again.

"I think... I think I'm gonna take a nap I... I think... yeah." Tweek muttered before laying down. Butters nodded and walked over to the window and closed the curtains. Tweek sighed and sank into the comfort of the pillow underneath his head. Pulling up the blanket on the end of the bed up to his shoulders. It took what felt like hours before he fell into an uneasy slumber.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_There was a loud noise and Tweek shot up. He had no idea why he was laying on the ground but he jumped up and looked around. He seemed to be in the woods, far from any castle or tree house kingdom. Reaching for his club he looked around. He felt like there was something watching him. Looking up, he wished he was up there, then he could really see where he was. Running to the nearest tree that would bring him above the tree level and began climbing. It wasn't too hard, Tweek had always been a good climber even though he hated heights._

_It took almost 10 minutes to get to the top, it was a tall tree, what could he say. Emerging from the tree top he looked around._

_And realized he had no idea where he was._

_Shaking he let out a loud scream, almost falling out of the large tree, he didn't even know what type of tree it was. Sliding down the tree as fast as he could, Tweek made it to the ground and sat down, shaking._

_"Tweek?" A soft voice said. Tweek looked up and saw a woman he had never seen before. She had a short bob, a dirty blond with soft curves. She had a larger stomach and was wearing a brown fur dress that had been shaved down so the fur was merely a stubble. Her eyes where a soft blue and and her face was a circle like shape. She looked tired, so, so tired._

_"H-How do you know my name?!" He screamed._

_Her hand went to her mouth and tears formed into her eyes._

_"Tweek, my baby... You've grown so much..." Tweek looked at the woman and felt a strange connection with her._

_"Who are you?" He said._

_She looked down at her feet and sighed. "I knew they would never tell you." Sniffling she looked up and smiled. "I'm your mother."_

_Tweek looked at her and realized that she had almost the same war paint markings but much smaller, skinnier. He stood up and walked forward towards her. The closer he got the more he saw. The soft wrinkles around her eyes, the small amounts of green in her eyes. The small spikes in her hair that matched up with his own. He reached for her hand. It was soft, a little wrinkly too. He looked into her eyes and for no reason... he hugged her, and she hugged him. He felt his eyes began to water and soon he was sobbing. In here, he knew that she was telling the truth. He had never known his parents. He sniffed and pulled away. A soft smile pulled on his lips and he felt the tears lessen._

_"I... I don't... how are you here?" He said._

_"I have no idea. I'm just glad I am."_

_He suddenly felt a tugging. He didn't have a shirt but it felt like someone was pulling on one. He reached for his mom and gave her a final hug before he felt himself being fully pulled away._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

Groaning, he turned around and saw the princess. Gasping he shot up, staring wide-eyed at the royalty standing above his bed.

"Hello Tweekers~" They said. He shook and nodded his head.

"What... What can I do for you? And why are you in my room?"

"I need your help with the lake situation." They said.

Tweek screamed. He was going to hate this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you like! Tell me what I did wrong! I live for feedback!! Updates will probably be fairly slow as school started and it sucks, but I'll try my hardest to get some out! Also sorry this was so short, I'm having a small writers block so wyd? Next chapter will be longer, I promise!!!


End file.
